Jonbu the baker

I am depressed.

Having to think about my return ticket got me thinking about what has been happening through this internship. It got me to think about what I will be leaving behind.

Japan.

Japan is such a friendly place. I feel no hostility here. I’m free to ask anyone at the train station for directions. I find patience and smiles where I would find frowns in Canada. And I will miss the trains, as well as the cities they take you to.

Sanyo.

It’s where I live, where I work.

I already developed a routine for every morning. There are people I will greet everyday. I have a favorite spot in the shower room. It’s very likely that I will never, ever live here again.

Fellow interns that have came with me to Japan.

In these short months I have grown dependent on them. They are my best friends in Anpachi, no doubt. But this relationship will end.

We all live in the same city back in Canada. But we all play different roles at that distant place. Everyone will resume their role back there. Return to their own circles of family and friends.

We will not bike together to nearby combini and chat for hours. We will not check out and comment on each other’s journals every single day. We will not email each other 50 messages during work using corporate emails. We will not sit on the trains together, and share the joy of leaving Anpachi.

Anpachi is a hole, as Shirley calls it. But it’s cozy in here. It’s the warmth generated by the people here with me. I’m just as happy here as I can ever be anywhere else in this World.

Of course friendship goes on forever. But it will change. This life will end.

What am I trying to say?

Time and location are mere settings. It’s people that make the story. I’m glad if I somehow made my way into their stories. They have certainly made their ways into mine.

Life is short, 1/70 of a lifetime is even shorter. Nevertheless this year-long experience will be the red streak that stands out in my greyish fabric of life.

When I leave this place three months from now, I will be leaving behind more than what it is. I will be pulling away from the family we’ve created.

Anpachi will remain in my heart forever. Not just because of the small town that it is, but because of the friends that were there with me.

Will I cherish life here more, now that it’s ending? I doubt I will. Humans take things for granted, at least I do. That’s a fact of life. Looking at myself as a bystandard, that’s what’s saddening me.

I hope I will read my own post later, and think different.